Walter The Farting Dog.

Yes kids. That really is the title of a series of childrens Books. I first encountered Walter and his flatulent adventures on a trip to Half Price Books in the North Austin area in 2008. I picked it up and couldn't believe what i was reading. The words "I Don't Belieeeeve It!" just about came out as i was reading Walter having a conversation by farting. This dog doesn't bark. He farts. Much funnier. Erica was in hysterics trying to pretend she had never heard of this dog. But i knew that she knew about it. The tagline reads....

"Warning: This book may cause flatulence. Walter is a fine dog, except for one small problem: he has gas. He can't help it; it's just the way he is. Fortunately, the kids Billy and Betty love him regardless, but Father says he's got to go! Poor Walter, he's going to the dog pound tomorrow. And then, in the night, burglars strike. Walter has his chance to be a hero. Destined to become a children's classic, this story will have kids rolling on the floor with laughter. Adults are permitted to laugh too."

As i read out what Walter did to the Burglars to a dozen or so laughing Half Price Books patrons they stopped laughing. They suddenly got very angry. For Walter hadn't done what they expected him to do to the Burglars, which was fart in their faces. Oh No.....Walter had teared the neck off one of them and bit the other one in the leg and they both died there in pools of their own blood......

"Well that was sick, horrifying! How could that dog do that?!" the crowd piped up. They started to return their copies of the book and demand their money back. The situation was getting desperate. This called for something drastic......"BUT THEN!" I screamed over the hubub. Everybody quietened down and turned to look at me with that expectant look in their eyes......

"Walter Farted!" i exhaled as i said it. The whole place erupted in a cheer and people started buying 5 copies of the book each.

Now on the strength of that success, Walter is being adapted into a film starring his fellow flatulent fellows The Jonas Brothers.

Apparently, they've been told to tone down their own farting as Walter is the star and he'll be doing the loudest and smelliest farts in the film.