In between Lindsey Lohan going to jail for 90 days after being charged with starring in some seriously bad movies. The jury is apparently still out on all the other usual suspects who are quite clearly repeat offenders like Vince Vaughan, who seems to be eating up the roles, pun intended and Owen Wilson who has a nose that should be a co-star in all of his movies like Adrian Zmed's hair should have been in TJ Hooker. (Please...no jokes about Shatner's hair, it WAS the star!) and the BP oil spill there has been Mel Gibson, whose phone calls to ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva have been the subject of hot debate. My initial reaction to hearing the expletive laden tapes of Mel psychotic rant were "This is private, no matter what the content" but the more i listened, the fascinated i became. Suddenly every scenario of my day included Mel Gibson, and no matter if you've had a shit day, you're better off than Mel. His Actor/Director/Producer career stands in ruins over this. Dropped by his agent. Shunned by his mates. What can Mel do now? I have a few career options for him....
1. Phone Sex Operator.
If you ladies (and gentlemen if you're so inclined) have had a stressful day at work, with the kids, or with the husband always talking about how hot Oksana Grigorieva is you can sit back in your wicker chair and call Mel's 24 hour sex line where he will huff and puff and swear you on your way to ecstasy and then gently lay you down in the rose garden.
2. Birthday Greetings.
For a nominal fee ($900 a minute plus tax) Mel can call your loved ones and tell them in his soothing tones a "Happy fucking birthday" and how people can "shut up and blow you because, guess what! YOU deserve it!" (and so does he)
3. After Dinner Speaker.
"Did you all enjoy your fucking dinner?! WHAT?! WHAT?!?!" Mel really would be a natural at this, with the brandy and cigars in full flow he could rant on any subject for hours. Ex-girlfriends, Ex-girlfriends friends that he got for ex-girlfriends that really would blow him in five seconds. It really is rivetting stuff
4. Actor/Director/Executive Producer.
If all else fails for Mel he really could return to what he knows best. But really, it's a last resort for him.
Does he REALLY deserve this?
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