Post From The Past: November 25th, 2007.

I travelled on a First Great Western train at 8pm to London Paddington arriving at 11:35pm. From there i hurried with my suitcase down to the tube station where i jumped on the Circle Line train headed for Victoria Station. I got to Victoria just for about midnight and sat on the concourse observing the dregs of human life around me. People hurrying and staggering home after nights out up west, foreigners looking confused as to where they were, who they were and what they were doing there, the vendors were shutting up shop and hoping that they'd go home to find a suitcase filled with pictures of our beloved Queen Elizabeth with the words "Bank Of England" and "FIFTY" on them on their bed. Then as they all sloped away it was nice and quiet....

Until....

"ALRIGHT! EVERYBODY! GET OUT!"

They were closing the concourse, we all (for there were a fair few of us travellers) had to stand for 3 hours out in the cold with a guy in a tuxedo who was very inebriated and kept yelling "Been out Wankin' Innit?!" and singing songs that annoyed everybody, the two Police Officers had got fed up of talking to the prostitutes and headed off, leaving us to the mercy of this guy who'd "Been out Wankin' Innit!?" and was singing. I heard later he had very good reviews on the Jubilee line....

And then i pulled out my phone....

"Hey can i make a call?" a Greek accent asked me. I turned around and gave him the carefully worded response

"No, i'm afraid i have no credit on this phone"

Now i cannot reveal his name, mostly because i do not know it. All i know is he was a bloke who'd just flown into Luton from Barcelona having spent some time in the Balearics, particuarly Ibiza where he said the "English girls were all crazy for sex" and i responded with "Yes, that is where we exile them when they begin to annoy us" and he understood. He was looking to catch a train at 5:15am to some place insane in Surrey (You may say that all places in Surrey are insane, and you may be right) and he had about 3 different passports from different countries British, Greek and what i assumed was Spanish. i immediatley assumed this was a guy working for Mossad and he sought me out because he thought i was his contact in London working for MI5 and i was assigned to get him out of Central London and into hiding in Surrey. In truth, this WAS my assignment, but i had Erica coming over from the US and i decided to quit MI5 and pull out of the mission just so i could meet her. I told the bloke this and he confessed he couldn't be bothered with this secret agent lark either. We both wished each other well and he went off in the general direction of two girls who were obviously looking for a slow train to Oxted with an Ex-Greek Secret Agent.

I sat alone as the waves of human existance started lapping into Victoria again and like the first waves that hit the beach are the ones that contain crap, so are these human waves, two tracksuit bottomed philantropists sat down on the benches facing each other, there was a period of flatulence out of the one on my side and the other smiled and said "Did you do it?" the guy nodded and they both stood up and made their way rather hurriedly to the exit.

To put it to those who don't speak English. Two tramps sat down and one of them shit himself.

The tiredness that was running over me and the hilarity of the situation soon merged and i was laughing myself silly or sillier, if you prefer. Barely anyone was around and those that were looked at me with a kind understanding.

Then i moved closer to Burger King, which was to be the rendezvous with Erica. Chosen because it was right next to the Gatwick Express terminus and also because they do a decent Chicken Royale meal. But food wasn't on my mind, for once. I was nervous because the most beautiful woman was about to walk into my crazy life of Chicken Royale Meals, Greek ex-Secret Agents and Incontinent Tramps. Most women think they can handle the excitement of it but it ends up being too much. Was it gonna be too much for Erica?

She arrived at around 10:30am. I'd spent the best part of 10 hours in and around Victoria. We hugged, descended to the tube with me staring at her in awe of her beauty and finally we kissed in the Tube station.

I got a taste of what was to come.....and Big Red Cinnamon Gum! Yuck!

The Brighton Entrance to Victoria Station where the rendezvous with the Greek took place.

 The station concourse where it all played out like a REALLY good novel.